In case of rapture, car will be driverless

3/07/2008

I’m not a big fan of Christian bumper stickers. I do have a sticker on my car that says PrayforIan.com, and I’d encourage you to check out that website. But often I think Christian bumper stickers may do more harm than good.

For example, what is the law-abiding unbeliever to think when you pass him at 90 miles an hour in a school zone and he reads on the back of your car, “Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven”? Or what would he think if you had this – honest, I’m not kidding, real bumper sticker – “Get behind me Satan”. Wow, I didn’t know I was the devil!

Maybe this would encourage a non-Christian to get saved: “What section of the afterlife will you be in: smoking or nonsmoking?” (Again, actual bumper sticker). That reminds me of a sticker I saw on the car of a man happily puffing his cigarette: “At least I can still smoke in my car.”

And if the driver behind you doesn’t get saved from reading the following, what hope does she have?

“Go to Church. Don’t wait for the hearse to take you”
“Without the Bread of Life you’re toast”


I don’t know about you, but just reading them makes me want to get saved all over again.

Then there are Rapture stickers. These genius slogans are designed to strike terror into the heart of the unbeliever, especially when the rapture occurs and millions of Christians on earth mysteriously disappear, leaving cars without drivers, electric razors dangling and running, and whole sets of clothes mysteriously lying all over the earth.

“In case of rapture, car will be driverless.” “After the rapture, give this car to my mother-in-law” (I guess your mother-in-law's a pagan, since she’ll be left behind to take your car).

Whole generations of skateboarders will probably saved by this one: “Dude, Make the Change” - What change? Do I need a new kind of board? Have Vans come out with a new shoe?

And let’s not forget the whole bumper sticker evolution debate. It began with the “fish” symbol, with the word “Jesus” inside it. Then some irate evolutionist puts all the Christians down with the clever fish with feet with the word “Darwin” inside it. Then the even-more-clever creationists smack down the pesky evolutionists with an even bigger fish with the word “Truth” inside it eating the Darwin fish. If that’s not irrefutable proof of Christianity, I don’t know what is. A more subtle creationist bumper sticker reads: "King Kong is not my grandpa”. You might have to think about that one for a while. Try not to veer off the road as you’re musing on it.

Years ago, I saw a car in a church parking lot with both these stickers on the same bumper:

Abortion Kills
Rush is Right


Just what I thought, says the unbeliever - Christians are all a bunch of right-wing conservatives.

A few years ago, someone asked me to put a campaign sign in my front yard for a conservative political candidate. A friend of mine wisely said that though it’s not wrong to put a sign in one’s yard, he didn’t want his neighbors to identify him as a conservative or a liberal but as a Christian. I declined the sign. I want my neighbors to know I’m a believer in Jesus Christ, not a Republican or Democrat.

The problem with so many bumper stickers and political signs is that they can distract us from “The Main Thing” as CJ Mahaney says. The Main Thing is not the rapture or evolution or politics, but the good news of Jesus Christ, who sacrificed himself as a substitute for sinners to bring them to God. Let’s focus on the gospel. And in case of the rapture, please unplug my razor.

Posted by Mark Altrogge at 8:00 AM  

9 comments:

I like my Vans. They're the traditional black & white checkerboard.

This is my third pair.

I'm a Christian. I've never had a "Christian" bumper sticker.

Lord willing, I never will. If I do, please shoot me if it's one of those rapture promoting types.

Those give ME road rage and inhibit my sanctification.

In short, "Amen," brother.

GUNNY said...
March 7, 2008 at 12:08 AM  

i'm standing at work laughing like a crazy fool!
Great post, and very tru!

Boaly said...
March 7, 2008 at 6:40 AM  

Hey Gunny,

Any pastor who wears Vans and rides a Harley is ok in my book. Maybe you could put a "clergy" sticker on the back of your Harley. Thanks for your comments.

Mark Altrogge said...
March 7, 2008 at 8:13 AM  

Thanks Boaly!

Mark Altrogge said...
March 7, 2008 at 8:14 AM  

i second boaly's comment. i'm cracking up. this is great.

i had once thought about making my car a rolling bumper-sticker collection to add some value to it, but i didn't want to invest all that money on such a depreciating asset (and one that was probably worth no more than $100 with a full tank).

great insight. i'm gonna go peel some things off my car now... :)

Emily said...
March 7, 2008 at 9:32 AM  

Great Post. Reminds me of a story my father-in-law told me from his youth. He was riding in the car with his father and they pull up to a stoplight. The car in front of them had a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus." They honked their horn just as the light was turning green and the guy in the car in front of them flipped them the bird. Kinda sad but I laugh every time I hear the story.

Brian said...
March 7, 2008 at 9:32 AM  

Thanks Emily,

Actually there is a car in my town covered with Christian bumper stickers. You'd like it.

Mark Altrogge said...
March 7, 2008 at 12:49 PM  

Great story, Brian. I'm laughing.

Mark Altrogge said...
March 7, 2008 at 12:50 PM  

Mark,

Right in your wheelhouse was a conversation I had with a Lutheran pastor and he gave me a clothing recommendation that I think you'd appreciated.

It's some "Left Behind" attire and I've linked to it on today's post.

GUNNY said...
March 10, 2008 at 1:06 PM  

Post a Comment