Liveblogging A Baby: Will My Baby Keep Breathing?

9/06/2007

Having a baby has caused me to realize how utterly helpless I am. As I lay in bed at night, dark fears slither into my mind, stealing both my peace and my sleep. Will she keep breathing? Will she eat enough? Will we know how to take care of her when we get home from the hospital? Will I hear her crying in the middle of the night? These and a thousand other black thoughts assault my mind on a regular basis.

As I've wrestled with these thoughts, I've come to realize that I'm completely helpless. I can't sustain Charis' life. I can't keep her heart beating, or her lungs breathing. I am unable to sustain her life, just as I'm unable to sustain my own life. Little Charis is fragile, and I'm unable to sufficiently protect her.

But there is one thing I can do: I can trust the only One who can sustain her. I have two options. I can trust in myself and be a fearful, miserable, sleepless wreck. Or I can trust in God, the maker of all things, to sustain little Charis. This morning I read Psalm 121:3-4 which says, "He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep." What comforting words! When I lay down to sleep, Charis is being kept by the One who never sleeps. God is keeping, and caring for, and watching over my sweet little girl. I must trust Him, or I'll never sleep.

Praise God that He is the One who keeps us! Friends, apart from the sustaining grace of God, we would be destroyed in an instant. But we serve a kind God who gives us the very breath we breathe. Let us lift out hearts in humble gratitude to Him today.

Posted by Stephen Altrogge at 1:52 PM  

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